Strictly Come Dancing is a shit programme on BBC1 in which celebrities .. dance. It’s meant to be amazing, somehow, but The Leading Edge ain’t so sure. And of course, as we are all on the pulse of cutting edge popular culture, we all know Mark ‘Rampers’ Ramprakash actually won it! Even Darren ‘Dazzler’ Gough didn’t do so bad. Now bloody Phil ‘King of the Jungle’ Tufnell is going on, Bloody hell, who next?
So The Leading Edge has compiled Top 5 cricketers who should be on Strictly Come Dancing:
1. Monty Panesar – Fan’s favourite, cult cricketer and probably one of the best known sportsmen in the country? Check. Complete and utter dark horse with a hint of eccentricity? Check (for evidence, see this video). A sort of pre-history of dancing, in the form of his very sweet little hop ‘n skip when he gets a wicket? Check. Strictly Come Dancing is about all ready for our Monty.
2. Geoffrey Boycott – Would be good purely for his terrifying single-bloodied-mindedness. Look at this Test match. Geoff’s combined contribution was 211 runs from 725 balls. Imagine that in dance form? It would be absolutely epic, and probably both amazing and very boring.
3. Owais Shah – The world’s most painfully nervous person. Think of when he comes to the crease, eyes popping out, sweat dripping down his face, the look of intensity leaves you wondering whether to be frightened, or whether to burst into laughter. Now consider that in a hilarious-celebrity-dancing-reality-contest-show format. Pure car crash.
4. Andrew Flintoff – “Will his knee be okay?!”, “He’s a big unit”, “He writes his own headlines”. We’ll miss these cliches from Test cricket, so why not have them in dance? Plus, he can have Steve Harmison as his partner which could be the most homoerotic thing ever shown on BBC.
5. Rory Hamilton-Brown – He’s such a legend.