Tag Archives: Mark Ramprakash

Who’zat?! #2 – Rory Hamilton-Brown

Rory Hamilton-Brown

Rory Hamilton-Brown

Name: Rory Hamilton-Brown

Teams: England U-19s, Surrey, Sussex

Links: Wikipedia / Cricinfo

Rory Hamilton-Brown, essentially, is a young one-day player for Sussex, who occasionally opens the batting in an “explosive” way, and bowls off stump off-spinning darts – my personal favourite.

Rory is basically famous for two things: for the ECB thinkin’ he was a naughty boy for drinking alcohol before an U-19 Test match (when he wasn’t, uh oh!), and for his matchwinning performance against Warwickshire in the Twenty20 quarters.  Oh, and he’s mates with Danny Cipriani.  “How cool?”

What a bastard...in a good way

What a bastard...in a good way

Rory is more than that though: he’s just pretty cool.  He is just so cool.  If most young English players appear to be the zany dork with oversized magnified NHS spectacles who can barely mutter a whisper of even the most mundane cricketing doublespeak (Will Beer perhaps?), Rory Hamilton-Brown is the bully.  He’s big, he’s strong, he looks like a bit of a bastard.    I bet he’s nutted someone before.  And he’s pretty talented too.

At the Twenty20 game against Warwickshire he was getting a bit of stick from the crowd – ‘Oi, so who’s a pretty boy then?’ etc.  Some alternate fledglings may have wimpered and quivered, but not our Rory – he went out and took 3 wickets.  Oh yes.

Could he play for England?  At this time, he’s about as close to getting into the team as Mark Ramprakash (which is quite a long away indeed).  He has the potential to be a decent one-day player, but is a batsman or an off-spinner?  Hopefully he can be more than what Jamie Dalrymple offered.  Which shouldn’t be hard.

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Top 5: Strictly Come Dancing

Christ, how embarrassing.

Christ, how embarrassing.

Strictly Come Dancing is a shit programme on BBC1 in which celebrities .. dance.  It’s meant to be amazing, somehow, but The Leading Edge ain’t so sure.  And of course, as we are all on the pulse of cutting edge popular culture, we all know Mark ‘Rampers’ Ramprakash actually won it!  Even Darren ‘Dazzler’ Gough didn’t do so bad.  Now bloody Phil ‘King of the Jungle’ Tufnell is going on,  Bloody hell, who next?

So The Leading Edge has compiled Top 5 cricketers who should be on Strictly Come Dancing:

1. Monty Panesar – Fan’s favourite, cult cricketer and probably one of the best known sportsmen in the country?  Check.  Complete and utter dark horse with a hint of eccentricity?  Check (for evidence, see this video).  A sort of pre-history of dancing, in the form of his very sweet little hop ‘n skip when he gets a wicket?  Check.  Strictly Come Dancing is about all ready for our Monty.

2. Geoffrey Boycott – Would be good purely for his terrifying single-bloodied-mindedness.  Look at this Test match. Geoff’s combined contribution was 211 runs from 725 balls.  Imagine that in dance form?  It would be absolutely epic, and probably both amazing and very boring.

"Aaaaaarrghhhhhh!!!!!"

Owais Shah: Quite intense.

Owais Shah: Quite intense.

3. Owais Shah – The world’s most painfully nervous person.  Think of when he comes to the crease, eyes popping out, sweat dripping down his face, the look of intensity leaves you wondering whether to be frightened, or whether to burst into laughter.  Now consider that in a hilarious-celebrity-dancing-reality-contest-show format.  Pure car crash.

4. Andrew Flintoff – “Will his knee be okay?!”, “He’s a big unit”, “He writes his own headlines”.  We’ll miss these cliches from Test cricket, so why not have them in dance?  Plus, he can have Steve Harmison as his partner which could be the most homoerotic thing ever shown on BBC.

5. Rory Hamilton-Brown – He’s such a legend.

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