Tag Archives: Rory Hamilton-Brown

Who’zat?! #2 – Rory Hamilton-Brown

Rory Hamilton-Brown

Rory Hamilton-Brown

Name: Rory Hamilton-Brown

Teams: England U-19s, Surrey, Sussex

Links: Wikipedia / Cricinfo

Rory Hamilton-Brown, essentially, is a young one-day player for Sussex, who occasionally opens the batting in an “explosive” way, and bowls off stump off-spinning darts – my personal favourite.

Rory is basically famous for two things: for the ECB thinkin’ he was a naughty boy for drinking alcohol before an U-19 Test match (when he wasn’t, uh oh!), and for his matchwinning performance against Warwickshire in the Twenty20 quarters.  Oh, and he’s mates with Danny Cipriani.  “How cool?”

What a bastard...in a good way

What a bastard...in a good way

Rory is more than that though: he’s just pretty cool.  He is just so cool.  If most young English players appear to be the zany dork with oversized magnified NHS spectacles who can barely mutter a whisper of even the most mundane cricketing doublespeak (Will Beer perhaps?), Rory Hamilton-Brown is the bully.  He’s big, he’s strong, he looks like a bit of a bastard.    I bet he’s nutted someone before.  And he’s pretty talented too.

At the Twenty20 game against Warwickshire he was getting a bit of stick from the crowd – ‘Oi, so who’s a pretty boy then?’ etc.  Some alternate fledglings may have wimpered and quivered, but not our Rory – he went out and took 3 wickets.  Oh yes.

Could he play for England?  At this time, he’s about as close to getting into the team as Mark Ramprakash (which is quite a long away indeed).  He has the potential to be a decent one-day player, but is a batsman or an off-spinner?  Hopefully he can be more than what Jamie Dalrymple offered.  Which shouldn’t be hard.

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Top 5: Strictly Come Dancing

Christ, how embarrassing.

Christ, how embarrassing.

Strictly Come Dancing is a shit programme on BBC1 in which celebrities .. dance.  It’s meant to be amazing, somehow, but The Leading Edge ain’t so sure.  And of course, as we are all on the pulse of cutting edge popular culture, we all know Mark ‘Rampers’ Ramprakash actually won it!  Even Darren ‘Dazzler’ Gough didn’t do so bad.  Now bloody Phil ‘King of the Jungle’ Tufnell is going on,  Bloody hell, who next?

So The Leading Edge has compiled Top 5 cricketers who should be on Strictly Come Dancing:

1. Monty Panesar – Fan’s favourite, cult cricketer and probably one of the best known sportsmen in the country?  Check.  Complete and utter dark horse with a hint of eccentricity?  Check (for evidence, see this video).  A sort of pre-history of dancing, in the form of his very sweet little hop ‘n skip when he gets a wicket?  Check.  Strictly Come Dancing is about all ready for our Monty.

2. Geoffrey Boycott – Would be good purely for his terrifying single-bloodied-mindedness.  Look at this Test match. Geoff’s combined contribution was 211 runs from 725 balls.  Imagine that in dance form?  It would be absolutely epic, and probably both amazing and very boring.

"Aaaaaarrghhhhhh!!!!!"

Owais Shah: Quite intense.

Owais Shah: Quite intense.

3. Owais Shah – The world’s most painfully nervous person.  Think of when he comes to the crease, eyes popping out, sweat dripping down his face, the look of intensity leaves you wondering whether to be frightened, or whether to burst into laughter.  Now consider that in a hilarious-celebrity-dancing-reality-contest-show format.  Pure car crash.

4. Andrew Flintoff – “Will his knee be okay?!”, “He’s a big unit”, “He writes his own headlines”.  We’ll miss these cliches from Test cricket, so why not have them in dance?  Plus, he can have Steve Harmison as his partner which could be the most homoerotic thing ever shown on BBC.

5. Rory Hamilton-Brown – He’s such a legend.

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The Leading Edge picks the next England XI

Yes, we won the Ashes, something we all kinda thought would happen after Lord’s, then thought would never happen after Headingley then definitely thought should happen after Stuart Broad.

But thanks to the ECB’s decision to exclude the 7 million or so viewers who don’t fancy giving their dollars to Sky there is no call for the nation to celebrate as one. So The Leading Edge will accommodate its necessarily niche audience by looking to the future. So here’s one half of The Leading Edge’s view of what the team should look like for South Africa:

1. Strauss. Of course… Man of the series and the only batsman who the nation really trusts.

2. Key. Its tempting to say Denly, a part of me even fancied Luke Wright, or screw it, even Lord Rory Hamilton-Brown, to make the move. After all Watson proved that you don’t need to be an opening batsman to open the batting. But Key’s the man. He’s done it before and should be solid enough if a little fat.

3. ….which of course opens the door for Cook at 3. He’s good enough to play at test level as the rankings show. Taking the pressure off him could help him immeasurably.

4. KP. Love him or hate him, England are just better with the NOTW hack on the teamsheet. He has that Iron Will to win lacking in the middle order and is just fun to watch.

5. Bell. Although Trott is in consideration, we should not forget Bell’s experience as a No. 5 where his average is much higher. Lest we forget that Bell top scored in the first innings at the Oval when England were on the rack!

6. Prior. Good with the gloves and can counter attack well with….

7. ….Broad. A genuine all rounder who will put on runs with the tail. Does anyone still doubt him as a bowler?

8. Swann. Let’s just forget about Panesar shall we, Swann’s our man even if he was a tad erratic against the Aussies.

9. Anderson. Not always effective but when it swings he’s the best in the world.

10. Harmison. Controversial we know, but what other England bowler is hammering on the door to be Straussies ‘fast and nasty’. Tell Tremlett and Plunkett to take some more wickets and stay fit, but until then its Steve all the way.

11. Onions. As Glenn McGrath used to tell young bowlers, ‘to be great you’ve just got to bowl 99/100 deliveries on off stump.’ Onions may not be the metronome but he’s got the most control in the England attack.

That’s that, not the most inspiring selection I know, but it kept me up all last night as I mused on what a force England would become in the future.

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Somerset vs Sussex, Pro40, Clash of the Titans, Highlights etc.

It’s a lovely evening at Somerset for this pro40 game. Trescothick and Kieswetter set about avenging themselves for the Twenty20 Final on a pancake surface.

17:00 – Tres out for 26 chipping a slower one from Wright to Goodwin.
The Leading Edge, unsurprisingly, likes Wright, he’s got genuine pace and bowls with real fire. Something the Sussex attack really lacks. Kirtley on the other hand is hard to like. He runs in with all the panache of a duck.

17:30 – Wright and Smith take on the bowling powerplay. Smith’s variation is class. In a brief interlude the camera pans around Taunton confirming that it is the nicest of the county grounds sitting amongst rolling hills with perennially blue skies and a church spire overlooking the action. Its better than Grace Road at any rate.

17:36 – Commentators take some time out to recommend Shane Warne’s column in the Times. If I was that kind of annoying woolly liberal type I’d have a rant about the ‘Murdoch Press’ monopoly.

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Twenty20 Finals Day highlights

Oh Twenty20 finals day, the most glorious, high-octane, nutty day of cricket in entire, long, boring, too-much-cricket county season.  It’s so crazy, someone wise once told The Leading Edge that every single ball, every single ball, either goes for a six, or sees the batsman clean bowled. Not only that, not only that, but this wondrous exhibition of bludgeoning batting and tumbling stumps is wonderfully supplemented by the absolutely insane mouth-watering possibility of a mascot-race and a documentary about Kerry Packer and WSC (which is a repeat).  I can barely contain the excitement.

Clearly, this is worth not only sitting on the sofa all day, but also missing the beginning of the football season.  Crikes.  To see if this meets expectations, The Leading Edge will deliver a magnificent text-based highlights package, all equipped with an ‘excitement rating’.  Yes!

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